Over Tea
by drinktea
Summary: The trip to the material world wasn't just for defense purposes, oh no. Hitsugaya was sure they were hiding something from him... [PreArrancar arc. Rated for cursing.]


_Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite!_

Author natterings: What's this? Discussion of HitsuHina, HitsuMatsu, HitsuHime, _HitsuYuzu_ and _HitsuKarin_? What is our poor taichou being subjected to? ... Find out. Thanks for reading, and comments are appreciated. 

**

Over Tea

**

"You know, taichou, you're really quite cute." 

Hitsugaya froze over his paperwork and accidentally smudged two characters together. His face was gradually overtaken by a look of complete skepticism. He put his brush down and turned around, very slowly, very _cautiously_, in his seat. 

Matsumoto was standing perpendicular to him with a hand buried in her blonde hair, her arm up at an angle so extreme that the sleeve of her robe had slid down to expose her elbow. She glanced over at him, her expression unaffected. She raised her eyebrows. "What?" 

He returned the eyebrow raise. He girded himself for some sort of harrowing encounter -Matsumoto tended to start those when she was bored. Her boredom was made clear by the pure left-field quality of her comment. "What do you want?" 

Her expression was still perfectly in check. Innocence at its finest. How she could pull that off after such an obscure statement was a mystery. "Oh, Hitsugaya-taichou, don't be embarassed. It's a simple observation." 

Hitsugaya squinted. "I'm not embarassed. You make silly accusations like that at irregular intervals. What do you want?" 

Matsumoto gracefully moved her hand from her hair to her hip. "Now, why do I have to want something to say nice things about my taichou?" 

"It's not nice. It's odd," Hitsugaya stated, blinking pointedly. "Now, if you don't want to tell me, I'll get back to these documents." And he turned in his seat to pick up the brush once again, and pulled up his sleeve. Over the actions he could hear something that sounded like "workaholic". He allowed himself a half-smile. 

Matsumoto sat, leaning against a portion of the wall where she could see her taichou. "What sort of documents?" she asked cautiously, as if they could sting. She hated anything to do with paperwork. 

His voice drifted back to her. "Papers concerning the betrayal. We're to document every possible interaction with Aizen, Ichimaru and Tousen." 

"Seems unnecessary," Matsumoto commented, pouring herself some of Hitsugaya's favourite tea. (It was on hand, as Hitsugaya had planned for a break soon.) 

He held back on his own commentary. "You have to do it too," he informed her, looking over his shoulder. 

She made a face. "Seems nosy." She sipped her tea. 

"I agree," he said quietly, but with enough volume that Matsumoto could hear. He knew that she was thinking of Gin. He turned in his seat again, his arm draped over the back of his chair. "But it could help us to predict his next move, his capabilities..." 

"_Could_," she pointed out. She downed the rest of the tea quickly. Hitsugaya knew that it was steaming hot. He began to return to his paperwork. 

"I can get you out of it," Matsumoto piped up, turning the conversation away from possible darker topics. 

Hitsugaya's attention was caught. Normally, he wasn't one to shirk responsibility. But this was simply too much. He wouldn't be surprised if Yamamoto-soutaichou wanted to know Aizen's _favourite colour_. Still, even given the chance to reduce the workload, Hitsugaya would tread lightly. Matsumoto was a dastardly woman when she wanted to be. His eyes narrowed. "If it involves sake, no." 

"It doesn't," she replied demurely. If anything, that was a warning bell. Matsumoto just didn't _do things_ demurely. But poor Hitsugaya was, alas, _already_ in too deep, for, at that precise moment, the shoji slid wide open. 

"Hitsugaya-taichou!" the silhouette said from the doorway. 

Hitsugaya's vision was going in and out of focus, the bright light from outside dazzling his eyes. He wanted to respond, but saying "pineapple-san" seemed inappropriate. 

"Matsumoto, have you persuaded him?" Pineapple asked, sliding the screen half shut. The light touched the person's hair, tinting it an auburn that strongly favoured red. Ah. Abarai. 

"Pretty much," Matsumoto said, at ease. She sipped more of Hitsugaya's steaming tea. 

"What are you two talking about? Matsumoto hasn't persuaded me into anything," Hitsugaya informed them both. He eyed them both critically, his vision perfect now. Neither seemed to notice the extra attention, however. 

Abarai-fukutaichou had crouched next to Matsumoto, peering none-too-subtly at the beverage she was drinking. "What is that?" 

"Tea," said Matsumoto between sips. 

"What are you trying to persuade me into, Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya repeated. 

"Is it spiked?" Abarai settled - more like crumpled, from the slouchy way he sat - onto the floor, grabbing ahold of Hitsugaya's favourite teapot and pouring himself a cup. Great. Now Hitsugaya didn't have his own cup. He only kept one spare, in case Matsumoto felt like joining him. 

"No," Matusmoto said simply. Her one-syllable replies to everything - not to mention her completely _ignoring his questions_ - were putting him on edge. 

Hitsugaya took it upon himself to get some answers. If it took a more forceful route, so be it. Provoking Abarai might even get him something. He stood up from his desk and walked calmly over to the pair, who were conversing in an absolutely civil, composed manner. Could they possibly _be_ more fake? 

"Matsumoto-fukutaichou." 

"Yeees, Hitsugaya-taichou?" Matsumoto blinked up at him from her tea. It smelt phenomenal. Damn that Abarai. 

"Could you tell me why you're in cahoots with this obvious bad influence--" 

(Abarai interjected an indignant "hey!".) 

"--to persuade me into doing _something_?" 

Abarai looked up at the taichou, though by not very much, as Hitsugaya was quite short. He tilted his head sideways in seeming thoughtful contemplation, his wild ponytail nearly sticking Matsumoto in the eye. Thankfully, she dodged. "Did your fukutaichou ever tell you that you're sort of cute?" 

"Yes, I did," Matsumoto smiled a million dollar smile. Both parties seemed very glad over this for some inexplicable reason. Probably because they had dodged yet another inquiry. Well, it worked, seeing as Hitsugaya was extremely put off by all their odd diversion tactics. Especially by what Abarai had just said. Ew. 

"Now, taichou, close your mouth or it might get frozen that way," Matsumoto told him, a self-satisfied singsong in the words. 

Hitsugaya promptly snapped his jaw shut, feeling some mortification coming on. That, too, was deterred however, as at that moment, the shoji slid open again. 

"Oi! Hitsugaya-taichou!" trilled a distinctly _masculine_ voice. 

The young taichou, dazzled again by the bright light, blinked irritably. "Hello..." 

"So, since we're all having tea, I assume things went well?" the happy voice continued. Hmpf. They weren't _all_ having tea... 

"Ayasegawa," welcomed Matsumoto. "Yes, things are going great." 

Ayasegawa positively beamed, then, in an unexpected move, turned a grin on Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya narrowed an eye at the ridiculous narcissist, but, judging from the man's lack of response, went ignored. "Oh! Splendid! Ikkaku and Kuchiki-san will be elated!" 

_Whaaat?_ A noble family member was in on this? He _really_ needed to find out what he was being lassoed into. Abarai was now talking excitedly with Ayasegawa about _their_ alcohol, whoever _they_ were didn't concern Hitsugaya. And Matsumoto was pouring herself _another_ cup of tea. How big was this woman's bladder? 

"Could someone clarify--" 

"I hear they're extremely piggish!" exclaimed Ayasegawa, alarmed. 

"Clarify--" 

"They can't be worse than _you_. At least they sound like actual _men_," snickered Abarai. Damn that Abarai. 

"... clarify--" 

"I'll have you know my manhood _has_ been challenged in the past, and I _always_ win." 

Hitsugaya frowned. He raised his voice, unhappy, "_Someone clarify--_" 

"HAH! I bet you were challenged by eight-year old boys, you-- guh." 

Hitsugaya had grabbed the collars of both Abarai's robes, ensuring a firm grip on the man. He pulled the redhead into a proper sitting position. Hitsugaya did not normally feel the need to resort to such methods to gain a person's attention. This matter seemed to concern himself though, and he'd be damned if he didn't get a clear idea of what he was supposed to be doing. Especially since it appeared to involve others. Even if those 'others' gave him a sizeable migraine. 

Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched up at the notice of Abarai's hand inching slowly toward _his_ teacup. Damn that Abarai. 

"Abarai-fukutaichou!" Hitsugaya snapped. 

The hand stopped. "Y-yes, Hitsugaya-taichou?" 

"Explain this situation that involves myself, yourself, Matsumoto, Ayasegawa, Madarame and Kuchiki." Hitsugaya's fingers curled tighter into Abarai's robes, to make sure he would not meet any opposition. "Now." 

"Orders from soutaichou," interjected Matsumoto, both hands cradling her teacup. 

Hitsugaya scowled, but turned his attention to his fukutaichou. "To do what?" 

"Why, to scout out the material world for threats from Aizen, of course," replied Ayasegawa. He did this far too cheerfully for the situation, in Hitsugaya's opinion. 

Hitsugaya flexed his strangling arm subconsiously. His eyes had closed of their own accord, perhaps acting under the pretense that if he couldn't _see_ his comrades he would be calmed into _not_ shaking them silly. "So," he questioned, with an impressive coolness to his tone considering the circumstances, "Why the secrecy?" 

Were his eyes open he would've seen all three shinigami exchange glances. Abarai, still in a relatively dangerous position, tried to hold back a snort, unsuccessfully. He made a swipe at the teacup again. 

Hitsugaya's response was instant. He reined the man in, but not harshly enough that he would complain about it. "There's something you're keeping to yourself." 

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're cute when you're cross, Hitsugaya-taichou?" said Ayasegawa. 

Hitsugaya promptly shot a warning glare at Ayasegawa while Abarai and Matsumoto grinned. Hitsugaya resisted the urge to freeze everyone in the room with Hyourinmaru, on the off chance that it was a bad idea to hurt annoying subordinates. 

The shoji slid open. "Hitsugaya-taichou, I suggest you squeeze harder." 

"That's not very nice, Rukia," Abarai said, though he didn't sound overly offended. 

"Well, Renji, you probably deserved it," Rukia retorted anyway, having half a mind to stick her tongue out. 

"Hah! This is all a result of _your_ plan, Rukia. If anyone deserves this--" 

"_Kuchiki's plan?_" echoed Hitsugaya. 

"In her defense, they were all game," Madarame was now standing behind Kuchiki in the doorway. "'Cept for me." 

"Bullshi-- fuck!" Abarai growled as Hitsugaya released his grip. Caught unawares, Abarai landed on the side of his face, spilling tea all over the clean floor in the process. 

Hitsugaya seemed not the least bit concerned, looking over at Abarai as if the man were a particularly fussy cat. "Kuchiki-san. If you could explain." 

Matsumoto suddenly slurped her tea loudly, to which Hitsugaya responded by glaring at her. If all it took was willpower to freeze someone, Hitsugaya would surely have accomplished it by now. Matsumoto answered him with an angel's smile. He turned back to Kuchiki grumpily. 

Kuchiki was making an odd face that expressed hesitation, fear and some strange kind of happiness mixed all together. Hitsugaya had come to associate such an expression with women in general, because they all seemed to approach him with such a face at one time or another. Kuchiki's face was a little off though: a little more happiness - or was it glee? - was weighted in her features, and a lot less fear. "Well, Hitsugaya-taichou, we all agree that you're overworked," she opened. 

So they decided to sign him up for a mission in the _material world_? He wondered with a mental eyebrow raise, but let her continue. 

"And we decided you needed some kind of stimulation," Kuchiki continued. 

"Other than killing things," clarified Abarai, who was by now mopping up the spilt tea with the leg of his robe. 

"Other than killing things," echoed Hitsugaya, his arms crossed. He was extremely unimpressed. Did they not think that he knew what was best for himself? Were they _babying_ him? "I do other things besides paperwork and... killing things." 

"Oh?" Kuchiki's face had lit up with an admittedly terrifying grin. "Like what?" 

"Don't answer, taichou," Madarame said from behind Kuchiki, still standing in the doorway. 

"He trains," Matsumoto said dismissively, sipping at her tea. 

"He trains!" Ayasegawa crowed, as if it was the most hilarious thing in the world. 

"Yes. I train," said Hitsugaya, unapologetically. 

"Overworked," Abarai said to Matsumoto, and they both nodded. Hitsugaya was still standing closely to Abarai, and felt that he could render the man unconcious in one fell-kick without anyone detecting it. Damn that Abarai, tea-stealing, with-Matsumoto-scheming... 

"Exactly," Kuchiki affirmed. "You're overworked, Hitsugaya-taichou. And you've developed a foul temper from it too. We're acting in your best interests." 

"I enjoy training," he informed them all, stubbornly. From his vantage point, he could see out the door, where several owl-eyed shinigami were passing, no doubt curious at the assembly of members of the tenth, sixth, eleventh and thirteenth all together. They knew better to pause and ask though, when they saw the young taichou's expression. 

"You can't train _forever_," Abarai said childishly, though he did have a point. 

"And since you obviously have no plans for Hinamori-fukutaichou, we figured a trip was in order," closed Kuchiki with a succinct nod. 

Hitsugaya furrowed his brow. "Hinamori?" 

"You don't like her, right?" Ayasegawa asked, looking up at Hitsugaya innocently. 

Hitsugaya was wrongfooted for a moment, but it quickly came together in his mind. Plans. Hinamori. Headache. Serious headache. "Not in the way you lechers are thinking, no." 

"I knew it!" Matsumoto said happily, high-fiving an equally happy Ayasegawa. 

"How does this even-- no," Hitsugaya froze, and looked at the delighted faces of all occupants of the room. Even Madarame looked lively now. This only served to raise even more goosebumps on his skin. It all pieced together - the sidestepping, the trip to the material world, the elimination of the most likely romantic interest - "No. Oh, _HELL NO_." 

"Come on, taichou, there are no girls around here who are your age!" Matsumoto protested, quickly getting up from her position on the floor and making her way over to Hitsugaya, who had now walked to the farthest corner of the office, massaging his temples. 

He whirled on her, biting out, "NO. A _human_?! What are you all _thinking_?" 

"Not _a_ human. Humans in general. Pick one. Or two," Abarai shrugged. 

"Hitsugaya-taichou would not be so unfaithful!" Ayasegawa protested. 

"It's not for forever, God, Yumichika-san," said Abarai boredly. He held his teacup up in the air, tilting it so that whatever tea remained would land on his tongue. "Humans live for, what? Eighty years, tops? And we're not looking for a lifemate for the guy..." 

"You want me to have a _fling_ with a _human_?!" Hitsugaya was clearly feeling incredulous and cross. He was past the point of caring whether other passing shinigami were hearing this or not. The idea was just so incomprehensible that his eyes had lit with aggravated surprise. He ground out, "What has given you the impression that I am in need of a _fling_?" 

"That temper," Abarai said, choosing to be a wise-guy. Damn that Abarai. 

Before Hitsugaya could act, Kuchiki stepped forward, trying to offer consolation. "I have no idea how you know what a fling is, but I _am_ acquainted with some _specific_ human girls. I could easily introdu--" 

"No. No human girls!" Hitsugaya persisted, trying to elbow away a hovering Matsumoto. 

Matsumoto bent down to meet her Taichou eye-to-eye, unknowingly wounding Hitsugaya's ego on top of everything. "But Rukia-san says there's a nice girl about Kurosaki-san's age, and that's she's like me, only younger! Isn't that perfect? I know how much you admire me!" 

"I'd sooner date _you_," Hitsugaya deadpanned. 

"Aw, that's sweet," Matsumoto said in response, rising to her full height and ticking off Hitsugaya even more. 

"Kurosaki-kun has _two younger sisters_," Kuchiki interjected hopefully. "Which means they have some spiritual power at the very least. Yuzu-chan is really quite sweet." 

"What do I have to say to--" 

"Karin-chan, then. Though you might butt heads a lot." 

"I'm not pursuing anyone, alive or no!" Hitsugaya put his foot down. "We will go to the material world to fulfill the soutaichou's orders, and _that is all_," he said, a fair bit of menace in his tone. 

"Have a heart, taichou," Matsumoto approached him. 

"... No," he said, unable to think of a better response. 

Kuchiki continued to harp on Hitsugaya, her speech rising above the rest in the room and providing a sort of background noise. "You just need to loosen up! A woman is the perfect way, according to all the human texts I've read during my stay with Kurosaki-kun..." 

Abarai snorted loudly. He said, underneath Rukia's dialogue, "You're missing a great chance here, kid." 

Damn that Abarai. Thoroughly annoyed, Hitsugaya went over to the redhead and grabbed him by the collar again, lifting his bottom a few inches from the floor with a strength previously unknown. Everyone, even Kuchiki, was now watching the exchange. "That's _Hitsugaya-taichou_," he told the man, his grip firm. "And give me back my tea." He reclaimed his teacup, looking right into Abarai's eyes with an expression that was flat, yet somehow intimidating. Then he let the redhead crash to the floor again, intent on using his newly acquired cup. 

There was no tea left. He frowned. 

Kuchiki, who had been silently watching the young taichou along with everyone else, made a sudden observation. "Hitsugaya-taichou, you're really cute when you frown." 

And the room sprung to life again, everyone agreeing and concocting schemes involving at least two girls at once. And Hitsugaya sighed loudly, and vowed to somehow double all their workloads if his innocence was challenged. 


End file.
